Tuesday Musings #8

Who was the last person you prank called? What did you say?

In my best robotic voice....

"Hello. This message is for *-*-*** **-**-**. If you are not this person, please hang up the phone and disregard. We are a collection agency attempting to collect a debt. The loan on your 2007 BMW 5 series is in default. We are driving the car away at this very moment. If you have any questions, please stay on the line and a representative will be with you or you may call 1-888-555-5555. Thank you and have a nice day.......message 798."-------------

Ok - so no, I did not make this call. Actually, I don't believe I have ever prank called anyone. I know, you probably don't believe me. But honestly. I have been in the room and even on the phone when someone was being called...but I was always too giggly or too chicken to do it myself. I suppose there might have been a time when I actually did say something but it was far too many years ago for me to remember a single thing about it now...so I suppose we'll have to stick with the made up story above!

Tuesday Musings #7

Looks like my blog is becoming a "once a week" event for my musings only. I can't seem to keep up on what is going on in my life or maybe it's that I can't find anything worthy enough to write about. Oh well. Maybe I should have a separate blog for all this "writing" stuff? Or, I guess, if you don't want to read it...just skip over it!
So this week's topic: If you woke up tomorrow morning and were someone else, who would you hope to be?

Background info: I thought about this for the full 24 hours and until just now, came up with nothing, nada, zip. It's not that I'm so satisfied with myself that I couldn't imagine being someone else for a change...but I'm so prone to realism that I have to weigh all the pros and cons. Doing this really eliminates just about everyone - myself included! Can no one have the perfect life? So, as I sat at my computer...trying to think of something to write, I indulged myself and got wrapped up in the first chapter of "Breaking Dawn" and the upcoming 'Twilight' movie trailer and other related production videos. Ok, I have never mentioned (on my blog) my love of these Stephenie Meyer books. I consider myself a big fan but I refuse to be 'fanatical'. I am typically quietly in the "know" about what is going on, when something will be released, etc. etc. but you won't catch me wearing an Edward or Jacob t-shirt. With that said, I am rather embarrassed (just as my husband will be) at this next entry. So here goes!

If I woke up tomorrow and were someone else I would be Bella Swan (yes, the female lead in the 'Twilight' saga). ...hopefully I'm allowed to choose someone fictional?? It's not that I think she is beautiful, or smart, or really anyone of consequence. It's just that she has a life that can only be contained in a fantasy. When I read about her, I yearn to have her friends. I dream of a love such as her Edward (of course this would only work as my 18 year old self...not with the maturity and knowledge of my current age). I think I could really dig the adventure of the life she is rather forced to lead, all mingled with the excitement of new and all-consuming love. When looking at her life realistically (remember, this is where I count everyone out) I can't figure why she would make the cut as the choices she has to make are far too great a burden than I could possibly bear. In fact, I'm just so grateful that I don't have to choose and someone can just write it all out for me to read. (Why can't someone do that for my 'real' life?) Anyway, the only thing I can come up with is that I would love to know her friends. I miss them when the books are closed. They have been written to be so fantastic and yet so real I have a hard time separating them from my own life. When I am reading the books, I am consumed with their stories, worried about their well-being, and anxious to know what might happen next. When the story ends, I grieve. I walk around in a dumb stupor for a day or two recovering from their loss. To be her, would mean that I could keep them forever. The book would never close and life would go on. Ahhh... Ok - now back to my happily chosen life... at least until August!

Tuesday Musings #6

This week's topic:

Welcome to blog boot camp! No more of this free verse. This week I want a sonnet! I'll take it easy on you in case your not in the habit of writing poetry, I'll let you pick the type of sonnet you write (I might suggest the Spenserian in honor of our founder). Here is a link to Wikipedia's explanation of a sonnet so that you can pick out your rhyme scheme.The theme of your sonnet should be potty training. Have fun!

Arrrrhhhh! This was so hard...hence the reason I'm late - SORRY! Here goes nothing!

For my song, I confess, shows little duress

and a happiness born of forgetting.

Though I've trained just two, the mess has been less

and not worthy of public addressing.

My son, only 3, when he learned to pee,

a daughter just 2, when she learned that poo

goes into the pot, not diapers you see

and for short reprieve, I was free, woo-hoo!

Though wonder awaits the dawn of my third.

Who knows how he'll handle his time to learn.

May be the one I would want to call "turd".

The "fun" we could have I feel myself yearn.

And though its in fact, a pain in the a**,

We all surely know, that this too shall pass!

Tuesday Musings #5

Topic for this week:

What was your feeling or thoughts when you held your child/children for the first time?

"Finally! Now I can relax! What does he/she look like? Does he have red hair? I hope not...I really don't want a boy with red hair! I am soooooo tired! I hope we don't have an ugly baby. I wonder if I would think my baby was ugly even if he really was?"

Ok - these really were some of the thoughts I had during and immediately following the births of my 3 children. Scary to me how out of tune I am about the wonder of childbirth in the moment that it occurs! For me, the love and tenderness I feel towards my children comes with the endless hours of servitude that follow this blessed event. I guess there is something to be said for compassionate service!

I remember being so surprised and delighted at how cute Ethan was when he was born (even with the red hair) that I wanted everyone to come in and see immediately. I didn't care that the doctor was still working on me and everything was all laid out on display...I wanted them to come in! Thank goodness the nurses made me wait. I'm sure that image would've been hard, if nearly impossible, to wipe from the memories of my poor unsuspecting family!

Ava was born so quickly that I remember thinking "Who's baby is this? She can't possibly be mine...I'm not even sweating!" It was all a bit surreal, enough that I figured I'd just get up and go to the restroom...and then fell flat on my face. My poor drugged lower body, though not completely numb, was not expecting my full weight and so, did not respond appropriately.

With Andrew, I watched every little detail and found it fascinating...kind of like watching a Discovery Channel program on childbirth. I literally breathed him out and found the whole experience strange and amazing...again like it was someone else's.

Though my initial emotions were all rather detached and impersonal I remember a very poignant experience with my daughter Ava when she was probably less than a month old. At the time I was attending many early (6am early!) Sunday meetings in preparation for our upcoming youth conference. She always came with me. On this one occasion I remember taking a break to feed her in the privacy of my car. I remember sitting there in the silence, just watching her and listening to the quiet baby sounds. I found myself relishing the moment. She was so sweet. This was so wonderful! I was a mother...the mother of this beautiful daughter of God! I had been given the amazing blessing to teach and care for this divine soul. I remember this intense feeling of love wash over me and my emotions gushed out upon the scene. Tears filled my eyes and my heart poured out an expression of gratitude to my Heavenly Father that I had felt so rarely in my life. It was a moment in which I truly felt what it must be like to love someone as God does. How grateful I am that He has blessed us to have these feelings towards our children. Some days it is this alone that gets us through. What a sublime experience it is to be a mother!

Tuesday Musings #4

Where did you grow up/live as you grew up up until the present? What is your earliest memory and how old were you? Did you play piano or a musical instrument at all or sports in high school or were you the studious type? Is there anything that you did that you think your parents didn't know about (and remember they just might read this or your children could so be cautious).
In honor of Mother's Day...tell us something that you learned from your mother (step mother, grandmother) that you practice today and/or something that they did that you wish that you had started to do with your family or life. Remember wishes can come true!

I grew up in a few different places. My family moved about 10 times before I hit the 5th grade. I lived in Downey and a few other CA locations, Colorado, Arizona, Norwalk (CA), Yorba Linda, and finally in the 5th grade, Norco. This is where I stayed until I graduated from high school and it was off to Rexburg, Provo, Atlanta, Amelia Island (FL) and finally back here to CA. Even after all that, I really think I enjoy moving!

My earliest memory would have to be the house in Colorado. I turned 3 here. I remember the long dark stairway to the basement where all my toys were kept. I remember my 3rd birthday party and the pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game on the wall. I remember some other random things like the snow and what the front of the house looked like with the chain link fence around the yard.

I started taking piano lessons in kindergarten and continued until the 4th grade. We had finally moved too far away from my teacher and I'd pretty much lost all interest. I still remember much of it but I was too young to have taken it very far. I'm grateful now because I can read music and I can dink some things out on the piano...just not always recognizably!

I was neither the jock nor the studious one. In high school I played varsity volleyball and softball, and my grades were good enough for me to graduate with high honors. School came easy for me and I must have really enjoyed the easy "A" as you would rarely catch me signing up for more advanced classes. I sure didn't care to stretch myself!
There were a few things I did that I doubt my parents knew about (though I think I've told them most everything at this point). However, I can't think of anything I would like to divulge here in this open forum! I wasn't a bad kid but like most everyone, I pushed the envelope occassionally. I'm just grateful for truly good parents that let me make my own decisions and allowed me a lot of freedom and trust. This is probably the only reason I am here today, unscathed.
My mother is one of the most charitable people I know. She has always put everyone else before her own needs...so much so that I've always thought she was a bit crazy! Rarely did a day go by that she wasn't off taking something to someone or cleaning someone else's house. As I get older, I am learning to appreciate the lessons in humility she very quietly taught by her example and I am more aware of the amazing qualities I need to work to closely emulate. I am not the best at this and I know it is something that I would love for my children to see and understand. So, my wish is that I can become more like my mother and in so doing, my kids will have a good example to follow and maybe someday wish to be the same way.

Tuesday Musings #3

This week's writing challenge:
It has been said by many that there are specific and profound moments/decisions in your life that change you. They leave deep and indelible impressions and you are never the same again, whether for better or worse. Write about one of these moments in your life, how it changed you, and whether you consider yourself a better or worse person for it.

I can think of countless moments where something impacted me rather negatively and I was never the same again, but I really wanted to write on something that had a positively profound and moving effect on my life.

This moment came for me soon after I had graduated from college. I was working two jobs in an effort to pay off my school and personally accrued debt. I was feeling a bit low, not sure what I was going to do with myself and wanting so badly to be free from this slave driving ball and chain. In quiet moments, I found myself turning to personal reflection and prayer. I was reading good things and doing my best to keep in good company. I remember sitting outside our back porch on the ratty old couch reading "Be Thou an Example" by Gordon B. Hinckley. There was one chapter that really stuck with me. It was regarding a man who had been imprisoned in his own war torn country while the wherabouts of his family were unknown. He had lost everything and from my perspective, all hope. Once the ordeal had ended he was interviewed and found to be positive and joyful. The interviewer then asked him what kept him hopeful through this trial and why was he able to remain happy? He then answered simply, "I placed my burdens on Christ, and my load was lifted." (or something to that effect) I was very familiar with the story of the atonement. That Jesus suffered and died for my sins and that I had only to repent to return to live with Him someday. This was a basic and meaningful truth in my life. I had not, however, considered the fact that He suffered ALL of the pain, grief, fear and anguish that any and all of us have to face in this life (not just for our sins), so that He alone could comfort us in our time of need. So that He alone, could lift us up and remove the heavy burdens from our back. He alone could be that friend we could lean upon because He knew...He knows how each and every one of us feels. He alone has been there. So my fear of what was to become of my life, of whether I would ever be able to vanquish my debt, of feeling so alone with no earthly help around was after all, not my fear to bear alone. What joy my heart felt as I contemplated these words! This man in the book learned how to lean on his Savior, to make the atonement an action word in his life and he was blessed so deeply for it. Now, all I had to do was figure out how this worked. It was one thing to know that I could, but an entirely different thing to put into action. How do you become one with the Savior, sharing your burdens with Him who knows you best?

I contemplated these words for almost exactly one week. I prayed about how this could happen for me. My answer came in the most unexpected of ways.

I was driving to work one morning when a large semi truck and trailer moved into my lane of traffic without warning or hesitation, knocking me off the road into the ditch that divides the north and southbound sections of the freeway. I swerved and fishtailed around until my car eventually flipped over leaving me hanging upside down. This was where the strangeness of my tale comes in to play. I don't ever remember feeling as though I was upside down, nor the trauma my body must have gone through with the severity of the accident and the fact that I was traveling about 70 mph. I only remember feeling as though someone was cradling me and keeping me safe from harm as my car, this heavy piece of metal and rubber twisted and turned around me. I remember thinking, when the car eventually came to a stop, that I needed to get out before it blew up (no doubt a product of too much TV and movie watching!) and I wrestled a bit to get my seat belt loose. Funny, that again, I cannot remember ever having to right myself in the upside down car though I would've had to to get out of my seat. I only remember very easily climbing out the shattered back window and standing peacefully looking at my once shiny black Jetta now mangled and torn. As I stared, probably blankly, looking at the scene, one thought (or rather heartfelt prayer) came to my mind..."This is in your hands now. I release this burden and ask that you would bear me up and give me the strength to pick up the pieces. I don't know what to do but I trust that you know what is best for me and will walk with me comforting me along the way." I had a deep sense of gratitude in my heart as I knew who had protected me and cared for me. I knew it was my Savior who had prepared me for this trial I was to face, who had allowed the holy spirit to speak to me through this wonderful book. I finally knew what it meant to have the atonement an active and real part of my life.

This moment forever changed me and because of it, I come back to this memory often. It has been important for me to always remember the times in my life when I have felt His love most profoundly. It is through these memories that I am able to once again, feel His love wash over me and lift me easily through the daily trials I face.

Tuesday Musings #2

I didn't mention last week that I had joined a weekly writers group and that's what began my last entry. This weeks assignment was difficult for me as I actually had to be creative. Anyway, here's the assignment:

Compose a prank letter (harmless, no threats of bodily harm) to a large company/public entity.

Scan or copy-paste the letter into your blog.

Mail off the letter.

Post a response when and if you receive one!

LDS Family Services
CA Colton Office
791 North Pepper Avenue
Colton, CA 92324-1800

To Whom it May Concern:

I am the mother of four wonderful children and have recently had to make the toughest of choices. I have spent many a night agonizing over this decision and who I should contact. After months of extensive research, your organization is the only possible fit. You see, I come from a loving, religious family and I’ve tried to create the same atmosphere here with my children. Developing spiritually is as important to me as developing physically or mentally and I believe that every child should have that well rounded upbringing. I feel your philosophies complement these beliefs nicely.

Let me start from the beginning. My husband and I were married in our late 20’s/early 30’s and the desire to have children came soon after the honeymoon. Unfortunately, it took longer than we had planned and we were finally blessed to adopt our first born. He was a beautiful, sweet, loyal, intelligent wonder in our lives with chocolate brown hair and stunning green eyes.
Soon after, we were blessed with a little boy with red hair and blue eyes, followed by a little girl with blond hair and hazel eyes, and finally a little boy with blond hair and blue eyes. They are all wonderful. The youngest is now 9 months old.

As for the difficult part of the story…around the birth of our little girl, our relationship with our first born began to diminish. We increasingly had less and less time for him and he spent much of his day alone sleeping or begging us for attention. We were afraid to have him too close to the babies in case of an accident or injury that might occur. You can never be too careful! With this distance from our other children, you can picture how much time he had with us. I am afraid to admit that the time spent away from us has also distanced my heart. There was a time when I didn’t mind cleaning up the “poop”. I didn’t mind the constant feeding, bathing, and combing of the hair. But it has become too much for me. He is in his sixth year and I still have problems with the clean up. Are they ever really potty trained? Will there ever be a day when I don’t have to do something in that regards? I don’t know what to do.

We are going on a few trips this summer and have contemplated leaving him home with enough food and water to get him through our absence but, I truly feel that something must be done before then. He deserves a good home with people who will show him the proper affection, the affection we used to have the time and energy to share. Though I know the separation will be difficult for him as well as the rest of my family, I firmly believe that we will be able to move on and heal if he were to go to a good home. He should be placed with a God fearing family who will treat him as the beautiful and masterful creation that he is. I could not choose just anyone to help find a place for him.

I am not sure of the next step but have attached a photo for your consideration and can also send one electronically so that he can be included on your adoption websites. I know that
adoption is the best way to go in this impossible situation. I know from reading your testimonials that you can and will find a loving place for him.

Thank you for your time and efforts.

Sincerely,

Rebecca

Disclaimer: To all you pet lovers that may be reading this: This was in no way intended to do or cause harm, but merely for the shock and entertainment value. In fact, Bear, himself, thought it was pretty funny:)!